Tuesday, March 27, 2012
The Stake Out
One of Red Dogs daily patrols is to the window that over looks the front yard where he keeps an eye out for gang activity. Yes, gang activity on Arledge Drive. This gang is not well know to the community due to their stealth like tactics. I'm not sure that our neighbors are aware of their covert activities but Red Dog is. He is watching them on a daily basis learning their habits so he can successfully protect the neighborhood. You may be asking who is this notorious gang and where did they come from? Well they are known as the Grey Diablos (i.e. 5 Eastern Grey Tree Squirrels), a dangerous little gang that routinely steals acorns from our unsuspecting neighbors. They live in the trees high above the street leaping from branch to branch stuffing themselves full of delicious acorns. They speak in a coded language of squeaks and clicks only understood by the gang members themselves. They flash gang signs with their little squirrely hands as they taunt Red Dog through the window. He watches them intently, growling and snarling ready to pounce on them the first chance he gets. They increase their taunting by jumping to the ground then back to the tree and back to the ground again. Red Dogs blood starts to boil. His growling and snarling starts to get louder and louder until he can't take it anymore and breaks out into that loud WOOOFFFF WOOOOOFFFFFF WOOF WOOOFF WOOFFFF. Once again it startles me but this time it only gives me a small heart attack because of the pre-bark growling. I rush to the door with Red Dog close behind. Red Dog bolts into the front yard ready to teach this gangsters a lesson. The Diablos dart up the tree with their stolen goods. Red Dog lets go with another barrage of WOOOOFFF WOOOOFF WOOOOOOOFFF WOOOFF. The squirrels run even higher leaping from branch to branch then from tree to tree until they were several trees away. It was an impressive display of high flying acrobatics that even Tarzan would have been proud of. Even Red Dog paused (or should I say pawsed) tilting his head to the side watching this amazing feat. Then as quickly as the gang appeared they magically disappeared like a Ninja. Red Dog knows that they will be back and he must rethink his plan of attack. But for now they are gone and the neighborhood is safe once again from these fuzzy tailed marauders. Red Dogs tail flies into the air and he prances around the front yard claiming his victory. He is now the neighborhood "Super Hero". Suddenly he stops and then he drops. Oh no I thought. Not there, not on Debbie's flowers but it was too late. He did it. He pooped in the flower bed. I once again ran toward the front door (but for an entirely different reason this time) frantically calling Red Dog to quickly follow. We darted into the house, our eyes rapidly scanning the room for Debbie's presence. Luckily she wasn't there and couldn't have seen anything. So I sat down in my recliner with Red Dog at my side looking at me with those huge brown eyes as to say "What are you going to tell Debbie". Suddenly it hit me, so I leaned over to him and whispered " We'll blame it on the neighbors dog". Red Dog smiled as to say "That's a great idea". We both were in agreement that's our story and were sticking to it. So Red Dog and I are trusting that you our loyal readers won't say a thing to Debbie and keep us in the clear. I think the moral of this story is that chasing squirrels can wear the poop out of ya and if that happens pray that one of your neighbors own a large dog. Until the next adventure, God bless you all.