Welcome to the Debra Mini Zoo or the DMZ as I like to call it. We invite you and your family to come visit us for a day full of fun and laughter. Come feed the chickens, doves, parakeets, finches, goats, dog, cats, and Me as part of the activities . We also have plenty of wildlife here at DMZ which includes skunks, possums, raccoons, mice, armadillos, hogs, deer, bobcats, coyotes, snakes, and an assortment of birds that will capture your imagination as they wander around. You can pet any critter that you can catch as long as your health insurance is up to date. We do not offer tetanus and rabies vaccinations for visitors but pet away at your own risk. Free admission. So come join us at the DMZ.
No, we don't have a public zoo at our house but it's starting to look like it. This was my feeble attempt at sarcasm since my wife has taken in another new pet. If she keeps taking in critters I will have to start charging admission just to feed them all. So I guess now is a good time to introduce the newest member of the DMZ family, "Oscar" the cockatiel. Oscar was a long time pet of our dear friend Karla. She kept him down at her flower shop for many years entertaining customers by flying throughout the shop. Many times he would sit on Karla's shoulder while she put together floral arrangements. He is quite the character. He is living with us for reasons I'm still not clear about but after thirty years of marriage I have learned to just say yes when my wife tells me she wants to do something. So Oscar was added to our little zoo. He has been living in a large cage that covers half of our dining room table for the past few weeks until Debbie puts him in the aviary with the rest of the birds which could be never. The one good thing about living in the dining room is that it can be closed off from the rest of the house so Oscar can stretch his wings and fly around for a while.
The other day that's what Oscar was doing when Debbie noticed him circling the room without landing. She looked around and saw Red Dog standing there watching Oscar intently. Wherever ole Oscar flew there was Red Dog staring in amazement. She could easily see a disaster in the making but it wasn't going to be Red Dog's fault as you will soon see. Oscar finally landed on the floor near Red Dog. Debbie stood there and watched as Red Dog walked over to sniff on him. Oscar just stood there without flying away. So Red Dog kept on sniffing ole Oscar up and down. All of a sudden Red Dog's tongue lunged out of his mouth and Debbie thought it was certain death for Oscar but no, all Red Dog wanted to do was lick on Oscar a few times and that was it. Oscar must have thought he had flown into a giant Red Dog bathing station or something because he just stood there for a quick cleaning. Who would have thought that was going to happen. Certainly not Debbie. She stood there stunned over what she had just witnessed unaware that Mr. Buttons had quietly slipped into the room. Suddenly Debbie heard this low subtle baritone like growl coming from under the chairs and that's when she spotted Mr. Buttons slowly stalking his way toward Oscar. Mr. Button's eyes were fixed on the target like a laser tracking system. Debbie yells at Mr. Buttons and for a few milliseconds everything went into slow motion as M.B. started his attack run. Oscar must have seen Mr. Buttons about the same time Debbie did because that slow motion thing quickly erupted into complete utter chaos. Oscar takes flight in a panic, squawking at the top of his lungs warning others that there is danger here. Debbie grabs a butterfly net she brought in as a back up in case she couldn't catch Oscar by hand and was waving it frantically in the air trying to capture him before M.B. had himself a mid day snack. Red Dog just stood there as to say "I wasn't done giving him a bath, where is he going". The yelling, squawking, and sheer madness continued for several minutes. Finally Debbie caught Oscar in the net and everyone's world returned to normal. I would have given anything to have caught this on camera because words can not describe the vision that is stuck in my head of a 48 year old out of shape house wife frantically jumping up and down swinging a netted stick with a fussy overweight house cat running around the room smacking his lips like a crazed killer and a squawking white cockatiel frantically flapping his wings above it all as his life flashed before his eyes. It's "Priceless" as the T.V. commercial says. I'm still snickering when I think about it. I'm considering placing cameras throughout the house to capture the next round of chaos so it can be replayed over and over again on the big screen for my own personal entertainment. I have wondered what the neighbors would think if they saw all of this going on through the window. One thing is for sure, it's not as boring in our neighborhood as people might think. I think even Red Dog was entertained by all of this.
So my sarcasm about having Mini Zoo may have more truth to it than what I originally thought. So come on out to our house and visit the DMZ while admission is still free. You can load up your lawn chair, grab a jug of ice tea and come hang out with me to see what will happen next. And since I made mention of my wife being out of shape, you just might get to see her jump all over me while your are here. Until the next adventure, God bless you all.