Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Sonic Woof

I opened the front door of a friend's house the other day and heard this sweet female voice say out of this little white box "Front door open".  Our friend had bought herself a home alarm system and I thought that was pretty cool.  But then I thought what she really needs is a Red Dog.   
If you have read some of the Texas Red Dog Adventures, I have mentioned that Red Dog has a rather loud bark but let me see if I can better describe just how loud it is.  We knew from the first day that Red Dog moved in he was going to be a barker, which was good for Debbie since I'm gone a lot.  He barked at everything.  First it was anyone at the door, next every animal in the yard, then cars on the street,  and also as the porch light came on (motion sensor activated).  I think at one point he was even barking at the rising sun.  HOLY COW, it was SO LOUD and we have found out it does have a lasting impact on those who hear it.  
We had two friends come to the door to give us a bid on some construction work.  They knocked and off went the alarm "WOOOFFFF WOOF WOOOOOFFFFFF WOOOOFFFFFFFFF WOOF".  The ground shook, the walls vibrated, and my heart stopped for a few seconds.  I then composed myself and answered the door.  I opened the door to see one man standing stiff as a board gritting his teeth hoping not to be eaten.  The second man had already made an about face and was half way back to their truck never looking back.  I guess he figured he only had to out run the other guy at the door in order to live.  There was also another friend, who was walking down the street, who made an immediate U-turn still half a block away and was heading home.  So I think you could say "yes that's one loud bark".  
On another occasion, we had a guy working on the front of the house one morning when my wife left to go shopping.  Red Dog normally stays outside when no one is home to keep from making big stinky messes in the house.  I came home for lunch and noticed that Red Dog was inside whining at the back door so I let him out into the back yard.  I knew that Debbie planned to be gone most of the day and thought he needed to stay outside until I came home from work.  As I backed out of the drive I noticed there were tools lying on the ground and remembered that the handy man was there to do some work on the front of the house.  I didn't give it another thought and headed back to work.  Around three o'clock it dawned on me that there was work to be done in the back yard as well and I left Red Dog out there.  I jumped into the truck and hurried home to put him inside.  As I came up the drive I saw the handy man picking up his tools like he was getting ready to leave.  He said everything was done in the front but when he headed to the back yard he was greeted by a sonic WOOOFFFF WOOFFFFFF WOOOOOOFFF WOOOOFFFFFF WOOF.  He was startled because Debbie told him earlier that morning she put Red Dog in the house so he could work back there.  Oops, my bad.  The handy man stopped and texted his boss to tell him that there was a giant dog in the back yard.  His boss texted back "yes I know, the dog is friendly".    Apparently the boss and the handy man had too different definitions of friendly because he wasn't wasting any time picking up his stuff.  This immediately reminded me of the "Pink Panther" movie scene where Inspector Clouseau asked a man, with his heavy french accent, "Does your dog bite" and the man says "No" so Clouseau tries to pet the dog that was sitting near the man and that dog attempted to chew his arm off.  Clouseau then looked at the man and said (once again in his french accent) "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" and the man answers back (again with the accent) "That's not my dog"  Well this was my dog and I tried to reassure him Red Dog doesn't bite (or at least not yet) but I don't think there was any way to convince him after he heard that "sonic bark".  So I went and put Red Dog in the house so he could start the work in the back yard.  I intentionally opened both garage doors to allow the handy man easy access to the back but when I returned to apologize for letting Red Dog out at lunch, I found both doors closed.  The handy man was still not convinced  that Red Dog wasn't going to eat his face off, so he had followed behind me shutting both doors as I walked Red Dog into the house.  I felt bad he was that scared but I just had to chuckle that he had closed the doors behind me.  I guess he figured better to be a live chicken than a faceless handy man.  Now, I don't want you to think that Red Dog would hurt anyone (unless you are planning to rob my house and in that case he has ate the faces off many buglers and small children) but usually once the barking is over it turns into a licking and petting frenzy for Red Dog. 
So if you get the chance to visit our house don't be scared.  Just stand your ground, knock on the door or ring the door bell, stick both index fingers in your ears and prepare for the "SONIC WOOF".  If you decide to run, head for one of the oak trees in the front yard and climb on up.  Red Dog has many talents but as far as we know he can't climb trees. lol.  Until the next adventure, God bless you all.        

1 comment:

  1. I'm visiting from your wife's blog. Cute stories about your big red dog. Immediately I thought of the movie with Chevy Chase where his big red dog runs away and every so often a clip of it zooming by would be seen. (forget the name but they were looking for the town of Redbud)
    Happy Easter.